Claude Debussy first wrote Claire de lune in 1888 when he was 26 years old. It is an amazing song and of course, when he first wrote it, it was not in the final version that is in today. What I wonder about is how he felt, what he was thinking when he decided to write that song. I mean there is some known history on what inspired him. That’s the thing, there is always something that inspires us and makes things in our minds spark and create something beautiful of our own. But, what else was there? When he wrote it, what else did it make him think of?
I think about music all the time and I let myself get engrossed in everything it is about. Sometimes I find the answers to my most difficult dilemmas when I’m listening to music. I listen, let it move me, read and research it and want more. Often I can’t wait for what else I’ll discover and what other questions or answers I’ll get from it. If ever I need inspiration it is music I turn to. I have tons of playlists with titles such as Bubbling Bliss, Happiness not mine, Tonight or Other, Strong and Soothing and on and on. Each title is significant. They hold a little a piece of how I felt at the moment on that day.
I think I wrote the majority of my Master’s thesis to my classical music playlist. Claire de lune was played many times over and over and I know exactly how I was sitting and which parts I wrote whenever that song came on. My literature review, I’d like to say, was written in great part by Claude Debussy and his composition Claire de lune. I don’t think I could have done it without him. Thank you, Claire de lune for making the day of my thesis defense and turning 26 an incredible experience.
Another re-blog post. This has to make the cut. Like Gavin sings in one of the Dredg songs “…positivity breeds positive happenings…”. And this is a positive post.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
At times I feel frail and weak emotionally and other times I feel invincible, full of life and energy. Two days ago I returned from my trip to Mexico where I visited my older brother in Puebla. He hugged me after what has seemed longer than 6 years. It was great. My best friend, Jessica, came with me and embraced our unplanned trip. We both came into this trip with the hope of regaining independence, strength, and a new look on life. Yet, we both had our one moment of weakness. We had each other to confide in and to take in the scenery for whatever it made us feel and think of. The people that we encountered throughout our trip amaze me! To live life for what the world has to offer not for what you can offer to the world. That to me is amazing.
New Job. New outlook. Opportunities waiting to be taken. The unexpected always there to make things interesting. Most of all I look forward to the simple joys I once had. It feels good to be back. Love should never feel like your being confined and hindered. Love is freeing. Now like my little brother likes to post on his BBM status, “Let’s go!”.
I have been thinking about what it must have felt to have lost something you were sure was yours to keep? But then I thought how nothing is EVER yours to keep. Things might seem like they will always be there but they are not. They break. You replace them. You break up with someone. You build yourself back up. You meet someone new. There is always inevitable change consistently flowing through our daily lives. We make decisions and ensue some change that brings about results that we either like or do not like. Still, losing something is devastating. Losing something like love is absolutely devastating. What comes after is something we either choose to take as something positive or something we dwell on.
I hope I never understand what it is like to be in a deep depression. The person I loved faded into the dark and stopped seeing me. There I stood waiting for something to give, something to change. After a while of feeling like I was dragging a body by a thread…the bond literally broke. The relief was empowering and yielded a freedom I never felt nor appreciated like ever before. Yet, I kept it inside for some time before I let them know I had begun to trek down a different path. I was incredibly scared. For my sake, for the sanity of my mind, and for the salvation of my happiness I walked out. They never saw me in their darkness and when I opened the door and the light poured in they cried like hell. I am happy again. I hope they find happiness again, too.
Where is the Private Press by DJ Shadow when I need it?!
I keep playing “Midnight in a perfect world”. The song is perfect. It makes midnight anywhere seem like it would be perfect.
But I need to listen to whole entire album not just this one song. I could walk around and pretend I’m in Providence Rhode Island on Thayer Street in the summer listening to DJ Shadow waiting for it to turn midnight and waiting to play “Midnight in a perfect world”.
That’s what I want. I want a little taste of what that night felt like being absolutely free. I’m glad I had that. I bathed in the essence of youth when I was in Providence and impulse gave way to many adventures. DJ Shadow added the final touches to what truly were many a “Midnight in a perfect world”.
Whatever it may be that comes my way I will embrace it with an open mind. It’s a new year, with so much potential, just like all the others, of course. However, for me, this year is very different. I have made some very difficult decisions and experienced emotions I never thought I could this past year. I am a much happier person these days, and I always was, I just was not in a good environment.
As much as I will embrace the opportunities, challenges, and things that may come my way I’m also not going to wait for them to come around. With that, I’ve decided that this year, I will venture out into the local nooks of Jersey showcasing creative and talented people who do what they love. I’ll meet some new people. I’ll get to know more about the state I live in. I might also find something new to do. It’s cool that people travel around the world and experience completely different cultures. I’ve realized, though, that I don’t need to travel around the world to experience new things. Not yet, anyway. There is so much culture here in New Jersey. Yes, I am going to travel this upcoming year, but I won’t be going very far. I’ll be daytripping and perhaps grabbing a few a friends to come along with me, or making new friends to go along with.
I’m happy. I’m excited. There is much to do.